13 Years Old and Dating?

I read this article in a January’s issue of a Southwest magazine. It’s a question, answer format.

Q: My 13-year-old son has just started going out with girls. I think he comes on a little strong; first calling, then texting, then calling again to see if she’s gotten the text. I suspect the girls find all this communication annoying, and I’d like to tell him to take it slower. But my wife thinks we should stay out of it. How about you?

Just reading this again has my blood pumping at a higher rate than it should.

Let’s see: My 13- year-old son has just started going out with girls. I suspect the girls find all this….

This isn’t a little crush on A girl. There are multiple girls?

and I’d like to tell him to take it slower.

Slower? Yes I’d say slower – as in like quite a number of years slower.

But my wife thinks we should stay out of it.

Okay, this one has me sucking in air and wanting to scream! Stay out of it, really? Your thirteen year old has arrived at a state of manhood where he needs no help navigating these waters? Who thinks a thirteen old should even be in these waters! With parents wondering if they should give input or stay out of it? Oh my. Where are they headed here?

How about you?

I was looking forward to reading the answer, only to find the advice given was extremely disappointing and (I can say) surprising:

Teach your son about phone etiquette the same way you teach him to shake hands when he is introduced. However, this is not about phone etiquette, but it’s about your 13 year old’s burgeoning romantic life. So I’d stay out of this. Nothing you will say will overcome his strong impulse to reach out to his object of affection. It will probably take several years, several girls, and a calming of the hormonal waters. Interference by you will only make you a handy target for his rage.

Now I ask you… What thirteen year old is ready for dating? What kind of parent thinks this is acceptable and normal behavior? This reminds me of the scripture in Proverbs – A child left to himself will bring his parents to shame. (Proverbs 29:15)

Children have been entrusted to us, and we are to mold and shape and point in the direction they should grow. Our job is to cultivate, train, model and fashion. We take the strengths and talents that are emerging, seeing where their bent is, and help them discover what has been packaged inside of them.

A child left to himself will seek the lowest level of training and camp there to do what they FEEL is right. I think it’s sad for the parents that have accepted the lie that they should not lead, mold and shape.

We can take this down to darling elementary children who are “ so cute” dressed up as mini teenagers, and to parents who teach their children on how to “be cool” and “dress cool”.

If parents think it is cute to talk about boyfriends and girlfriends in the first and second grade it t is too much too soon. It is not cute. It is sad. And the disappointments down the road will be painful for so many.

What do YOU think?